I'm about to share with you a MISSION CRITICAL step that every man must
take before seriously upgrading his dating life.
What I'm about to describe is not complicated, let alone metaphysical or "out there". In fact, it's
about as pragmatic as a first grade homework assignment.
But yet, like so many important things in life, what often seems "obvious" AFTER discovery may have been
ignored or unnoticed for years and years...perhaps even decades or an ENTIRE LIFETIME.
And such is the secret I'm going to share with you right now. Here goes...
You already know that I talk a lot about deserving what you want. A big part of doing this involves
taking the measures necessary to be the kind of man the woman of your dreams is dreaming of.
And that, in and of itself, is a step most of us fail to take in this culture of "immediate
gratification" and "quick fixes". But based on my interactions with both men and women, there's an even
MORE SHOCKING aspect to how people go about relationships.
By and large (whatever that means), the vast majority of us HAVE NO IDEA what we really want in a woman.
We may feel as if "we'll know it when we see it" or something like that, but beyond ticking the obvious
checkboxes (i.e. "um...really hot and kind of fun to be with, I guess.") we don't ever OBJECTIVELY identify
the exact details of who the woman of our dreams REALLY IS.
Maybe it's because there's a "stigma" around being "too picky". Maybe it's because we've been
brainwashed to believe that either 1) nobody really ever gets who they want, or worse... 2) ...that we're
"shallow" for having high standards in every way.
Well, let me support you 100% in being "too picky". And if someone ever tells you you're "shallow" for
"wanting it all", send him or her to me. I've got your back.
So with that formality out of the way, what do you do to make sure you're on the right track here?
Simple. You make an Excel spreadsheet. In it, you list the TOP TEN traits you deem important in a woman.
I don't care WHAT THEY ARE. You are the SOLE JUDGE of what's on the list.
Make a column for each trait. Then, in each of several rows below type in the name of a woman you are
currently dating or want to date. You can even list women you've known or dated in the past for
reference.
Once you have the names written down, rank each woman from 1-10 under each respective trait in
accordance with how you feel she measures up to the ultimate standard you have in mind.
Then, add up the numbers at the end of the column. Out of 100 possible points, each woman will have a
"grade".
Now I know what you're saying. This sure seems like a stone cold way to evaluate women.
It may look that way at first glance, but the truth is that most of us as guys tend to evaluate women
very subjectively. Going purely by a "seat of the pants" impression of how much we like a particular woman
can get a bit confusing-or even MISLEADING-when we know several women, can't it?
This is especially true when ALL of those women are FANTASTIC, and ALL of whom are COMPLETELY DIFFERENT
as individuals.
The "Whitelist" I just described to you is a way of GROUNDING your mindset, so you can effectively
temper your subjective, emotional response to women with factors you've decided were important AHEAD OF
TIME.
Notice I said, "ahead of time". No fair making your Whitelist AFTER you start dating someone.
Even though I did suggest running the numbers for previous girlfriends as a reference exercise, trust me
when I tell you you're VERY LIKELY to weigh your Whitelist in favor of women you WANT to score well if you
already know them and like them. So for that specific reason it's best to have a clean slate.
And now, here's what's arguably EVEN MORE IMPORTANT than the Whitelist. You've got to make a "Blacklist"
as well.
This list has no limit with regard to the number of entries that can be on it. And it doesn't require
any scaling from 1-10. Rather, it's completely binary..."Yes" or "No". And on that list are all the
ABSOLUTE DEALBREAKERS that should unequivocally disqualify ANY woman you are seeing.
Again...I don't care what's actually ON the list. That's up to you. But whatever you write down on the
Blacklist, you've got to promise yourself RIGHT NOW that if you ever see any of it show up in a particular
woman you are dating, it's breakup time. No ifs, ands or buts. No passing "go" or collecting $200.
If you build the Blacklist and live by it as closely as you do the Whitelist, your chances of having to
deal with excessive, mind-numbing and potentially life-altering drama will go WAY, WAY down.
In fact, most guys who overlook what I'm sharing with you today are LIKELY to end up with the wrong
woman...and even LIKELY to end up in divorce court. If you think I'm kidding, simply look at the public
statistics.
So like the Whitelist, it's CRUCIAL that you create the Blacklist BEFORE you start dating. That is,
BEFORE you start dating someone who is so hot she causes you to EXCUSE what may have been a clear
"dealbreaker"...if only you had written it down BEFORE meeting her.
The Blacklist "clears your head" about what you DON'T want, much as the Whitelist gives you clarity
about what you DO want.
Think of both lists as two halves of a pact you make with yourself at the very beginning of your journey
to becoming amazing with women.
When it's "in writing" on paper...perhaps even endorsed with your own signature, you'll always have an
immediate an undeniable touchstone to YOUR REALITY as perceived long before ever being "clouded by beauty
vision".
Can you see the importance of building a Whitelist AND a Blacklist?